Star League 3 Read online

  Of course, as soon as I’m ready to stand on my own two feet again, Ben Beaumont is back on my case about filming Zombie vs. Werewolf.

  ‘But I just foiled a fiendish plot to raise the dead!’ I complain.

  ‘Yes, Roger, and you did a good job,’ says Ben. ‘But if you want to stop people from finding out you’re a secret crime-fighter, you need to maintain your disguise as an actor. And in show business there are deadlines, so hop to it!’

  I groan and join Connor on set. ‘Try to do your lines properly this time,’ growls Connor.

  I sigh. I guess he’s right, the quicker I get through this scene, the quicker I can get back to fighting crime.

  You know, it’s funny. When Ben Beaumont first approached me about joining the Star League, I thought it’d be fun, but that being a film star would be even better. But after fighting Nefertina and her minions, I guess my tastes have changed. I pop a piece of Braynes Gum in my mouth and start chewing.

  ‘Okay, cue the fog machine!’ shouts Ben. ‘Lights, camera, action!’

  Fog starts rolling in from the sides of the set, and I wander around moaning like a movie zombie. ‘Brainssss … brainssss!’ I stumble into Connor. I resist the urge to make a joke about how there are obviously no brains here, and stick to my lines instead, which are just a lot of moaning.

  ‘Foul zombie!’ says Connor. ‘Prepare to feel the wrath of my wolf justice!’ I wince. Who writes this stuff? Connor transforms into a werewolf and we fight. Or rather, he fights and I just stumble around trying to bite his head like I’m supposed to.

  Finally Connor defeats me like it says in the script and I lie on the ground. Connor puts one foot on my chest and declares, ‘The world is safe from the zombie menace for another day.’ I roll my eyes, but luckily they’re closed so it won’t show up on film.

  ‘… aaaand CUT!’ shouts Ben. Connor jumps off me and I stumble to my feet.

  ‘So, are we done filming?’ I ask Ben eagerly. He rubs his chin.

  ‘Well, I’m not sure …’

  ‘What?’ I ask in disbelief. ‘But I did everything that was in the script!’

  ‘Oh, I’m not denying that, Roger. But I just feel like there was something missing.’ He stares off into space for a bit and then clicks his fingers. ‘I’ve got it! I owe you an apology, Roger. We’ve been going about this completely the wrong way. I always thought this was an action movie, but you were right the first time. This should be a comedy!’

  Connor’s eyes bulge. ‘What? But what about my big action scenes?’

  That makes me grin. But then something dawns on me and the grin becomes a groan. ‘Does that mean we’ll have to reshoot?’

  ‘No, that’s the best part! We’ve already got all the footage we need – we’ll use the blooper reel!’

  ‘Oh no!’ says Connor. ‘Not the ones where he beats me!’

  I laugh. ‘That sounds like a great idea, Ben. It’ll be hilarious!’

  ‘Well, working with you has taught me something, Roger,’ says Ben. ‘Sometimes we all just need to loosen up.’

  randomhouse.com.au/starleague

  H.J. Harper isn’t sure if books are stalking her, or if she’s stalking books. Either way, she’s had various jobs in bookstores and libraries, and now works as an author. Her favourite part about being an author is that staring out the window and imagining things is no longer something she can get in trouble for – in fact, it’s required! When she’s not writing books about werewolves, zombies and ninjas, she’s usually playing video games … about werewolves, zombies and ninjas. She lives in Melbourne with her partner and a very spoilt cat who cannot be controlled by animancer powers.

  Nahum Ziersch was born and raised in the Clare Valley in South Australia. From a very young age he knew he wanted to draw for a living, surrounded by very artistic parents who encouraged and nurtured his passion. As a kid he would watch Astro Boy and stacks of other cartoons in his PJs, devour comics and draw his own imaginative worlds and characters. Nahum works as a freelance illustrator in Adelaide. While his main areas of work include editorial, advertising and educational illustrations, he still has a mad passion for creating quirky and expressive characters.