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  Star League 5: Monkey Business

  ePub ISBN 9781742754437

  To Nanny. – H.J.H.

  To Gabrielle, Aidan and Maelie. – N.Z.

  A Random House book

  Published by Random House Australia Pty Ltd

  Level 3, 100 Pacific Highway, North Sydney NSW 2060

  www.randomhouse.com.au

  First published by Random House Australia in 2011

  Copyright © H.J. Harper 2011

  Illustration copyright © Nahum Ziersch 2011

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity, including internet search engines or retailers, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying (except under the statutory exceptions provisions of the Australian Copyright Act 1968), recording, scanning or by any information storage and retrieval system without the prior written permission of Random House Australia.

  Addresses for companies within the Random House Group can be found at www.randomhouse.com.au/offices

  National Library of Australia

  Cataloguing-in-Publication Entry

  Author: Harper, H.J.

  Title: Monkey business/H.J. Harper; Nahum Ziersch

  ISBN: 978 1 86471 870 6 (pbk.)

  Series: Harper, H.J. Star league; 5

  Target Audience: For children

  Other Authors/Contributors: Ziersch, Nahum

  Dewey Number: A823.4

  Cover illustration and design by Nahum Ziersch

  Contents

  Cover

  Copyright Page

  Imprint Page

  Dedication

  Title Page

  Meet the Star League

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Collect them all

  About the author

  About the illustrator

  ‘I sure would like to get out of here,’ I mutter, trying to twist out of the vines wrapped around my wrists, ‘but my hands are tied – literally!’

  I sigh and glance around the jungle. The wall of leaves surrounding me is alive with the shrieks and squawks of a thousand creatures. There’s no sign of any humans, although that’s probably a good thing since the last people I saw tied me to this tree.

  ‘I am in some serious trouble this time!’ I say to myself. ‘I’d better think of a way to get out of here before something comes along to finish me off!’

  As soon as the words are out of my mouth, the undergrowth begins to rustle. I hear the unmistakeable sound of something large slinking through the bushes.

  ‘Uh oh!’ I struggle against the vines, but that just seems to make them tighter. Then I hear a low growl and I freeze.

  From among the trees I spot a pair of golden eyes staring at me. As the creature emerges from the undergrowth, my mouth drops open at the sight of his black and orange striped coat. The tiger pads quietly into the clearing and crouches in front of me.

  ‘H-hi! I’m Leigh,’ I say, my voice trembling a little. ‘What’s your name?’

  The tiger opens his mouth and roars so loudly it feels like my bones are rattling. I shake my head.

  ‘Is that your first name or your last name?’

  The tiger glares at me and licks his lips. The bushes around me begin to rustle again, and I wonder if Mr Tiger has invited the rest of his family along for dinner.

  But just as I’m about to say my goodbyes, a creature pops out of the undergrowth that is definitely no tiger. He’s small and furry, and he’s wearing a sombrero and a drooping black moustache.

  ‘Señor Monkey!’ I cry in delight. ‘You’ve come to rescue me!’

  The tiger sees Señor Monkey too, but I don’t think he’s as happy to see him as I am. The tiger opens his mouth wide to reveal a set of very sharp teeth and roars again.

  It doesn’t scare Señor Monkey, though. The little brown and white monkey screeches and leaps into the air, landing with a thump on the tiger’s back. The tiger snarls and spins around, trying to throw Señor Monkey off, but his little hands grip on tightly as he rides him like a rodeo bull.

  While Señor Monkey is distracting the tiger, I bend down as far as I can and start chewing on the vines around my wrists. They taste like rotten cabbage but at least they aren’t poisonous – I hope! I chew until some of the smaller tendrils snap and I rip my hands away. Freedom at last!

  The tiger rears up and throws Señor Monkey from his back. He spins around and opens his jaws wide, saliva dripping from his long teeth. If I don’t do something, Señor Monkey is going to end up as an appetiser on Mr Tiger’s menu!

  I sprint towards Señor Monkey and pluck him off the ground by his tail. He screeches in annoyance, but I’m sure it hurts a lot less than a tiger bite. He clambers up onto my shoulder as I race into the jungle and we make our getaway.

  ‘Thanks for inviting us to dinner, Mr Tiger,’ I yell over my shoulder. ‘Sorry we couldn’t stay for dessert!’

  I burst through the thick trees and suddenly I’m no longer in a green jungle but standing in the middle of a film studio.

  ‘Aaaand CUT!’

  ‘Good job, Leigh,’ says Ben Beaumont, the film’s director. He pushes aside one of the fake trees to join me on the set. ‘That was the last scene of Señor Monkey’s Shenanigans, so that means you’re done filming for the day.’

  ‘Ugh, what a relief!’ says Señor Monkey, who normally goes by the name of Chu. He pulls off his drooping moustache. ‘Do I really have to wear this? It’s so itchy!’

  Ben frowns. I know to him it sounds like Chu is just making screeching monkey sounds, but because of my psychic animancer powers I can understand him and all animals perfectly.

  ‘Oh, stop complaining,’ purrs a voice, ‘or I’ll give you something to complain about.’ I turn to see the tiger slinking towards me.

  ‘Hi, Amir,’ I say. ‘Nice acting back there. You’re very convincing as a bloodthirsty hunter!’

  Amir the tiger chuckles. ‘Thanks. Don’t tell anyone, but I actually prefer liquorice to human flesh!’

  ‘Hey, Leigh, great scene!’ I glance up as we’re joined by Jay, Asuka, Connor, Roger and Sam. They look a little bit on edge around Amir.

  ‘Don’t worry, he won’t bite,’ I tell them.

  ‘Unless you’ve got liquorice,’ adds Amir. Chu, Amir and I laugh, but the joke is totally lost on the others, who don’t understand a word of it.

  ‘So, if you’re done filming, we thought we’d take advantage of our free time,’ says Jay.

  ‘Yeah?’ I ask excitedly. ‘What did you have in mind?’ In between filming movies and fighting evil villains with the Star League, I haven’t had much free time lately. After all the excitement of the past couple of months it’ll
be good to relax.

  ‘We were just heading next door to watch Aunt Petunia film her TV show,’ says Connor. ‘Want to come?’

  I frown. ‘Who’s Aunt Petunia? Is she a relative of yours?’

  ‘You don’t know who Aunt Petunia is?’ asks Roger in surprise. ‘Have you been living under a rock?’

  Actually, Roger’s not far off. I’ve lived my whole life travelling around the world with my mother, an anthropologist. Most of the time she was off studying ancient tribes where electricity wasn’t used, so I never really watched TV. Ever since I can remember I’ve been able to understand animals, so instead of watching TV, I used to listen to their stories for fun instead.

  Thankfully, Sam steps in. ‘Aunt Petunia is the star of Le Nice Pets, a television show about training animals to be obedient. It attracts 3.2 million viewers a week on average.’

  I blink. ‘Is that good?’

  ‘Sure is,’ says Jay. ‘It’s one of the most popular shows on TV, and they just so happen to be filming it next door. Come on!’

  I say goodbye to Amir and we head through the studio to another set. The first thing I notice is a little old lady with her pink hair done up in a bun. Since all of the cameras are focused on her, I’m guessing that she’s Aunt Petunia.

  ‘Hello, my lovelies. So far on today’s episode of Le Nice Pets, you’ve seen me teach a parrot how to sing in Spanish and how to make a poodle do the hula hoop. And now, before I say goodnight, I’d like to introduce you to somebody very special. Sweetpea! Where are you, Sweetpea?’

  An enormous shape looms out of the shadows behind her. It’s as tall as a human but wider and more muscular. Not to mention the fact that it’s covered from head to toe in thick, black fur.

  ‘It’s a gorilla!’ I gasp. I’ve never met a gorilla before, so I’m really excited. I reach out with my animancer powers to say hello, but the gorilla doesn’t even turn in my direction. He just lumbers towards little old Aunt Petunia with a cold look in his eyes that makes me think something is wrong. I get a sick feeling in my stomach. What if he hurts her? He could easily break her in two!

  I close my eyes and try again to call out to the gorilla to tell him not to harm her. I call so loud that Chu winces on my shoulder, but it’s no good. The gorilla just keeps stomping towards Aunt Petunia with a menacing look in his eyes.

  ‘Stop!’ I yell. ‘Something’s wrong! That gorilla is going to hurt her!’

  But even as the words are out of my mouth, I realise that’s not going to happen. Sweetpea calmly waits at Aunt Petunia’s side as she pats his fur. She looks at me and smiles, her eyes twinkling.

  ‘Don’t worry, dear, Sweetpea wouldn’t hurt a fly!’ The gorilla glares at me with his cold eyes. There’s still no answer when I try to talk to him using my animancer powers, which is really weird. I guess Sweetpea just isn’t the talkative type. ‘Why don’t you come over here?’ Aunt Petunia motions for me to come and stand next to her.

  As I walk over I blink at the bright lights and the cameras pointed at me, and I feel really shy. Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut?

  Aunt Petunia reaches up and points to a collar around the gorilla’s neck that I hadn’t noticed before.

  ‘Do you see this … what did you say your name was, sweetie?’

  ‘Leigh,’ I mumble.

  ‘Do you see this collar, Leigh? Well that’s a Le Nice Pets Collar. It teaches Sweetpea here to be a nice, well-mannered gorilla.’

  A large silver pendant hangs from the collar with the words ‘Le Nice Pets’ engraved on it. Chu peers at it and chirps softly.

  ‘I don’t like it,’ he says. ‘I don’t know why, but it makes me nervous.’

  ‘What a sweet little pet monkey you have there!’ says Aunt Petunia.

  ‘He’s not really a pet,’ I tell her. ‘He’s my best friend!’

  ‘Oh, isn’t that lovely!’ smiles Aunt Petunia.

  ‘And how handsome he’d look wearing one of my collars. They come in a range of colours, including Banana Yellow!’ She reaches for a small yellow collar, but Chu screeches and jumps out of the way.

  Aunt Petunia just laughs kindly. ‘Well, I guess not everyone’s a fan. That’s okay.’ She turns back to the cameras. ‘But if you want to teach your pet perfect manners, just like Sweetpea here, make sure to buy one of Aunt Petunia’s Le Nice Pets Collars. Goodnight, lovelies!’

  The stage lights blink off as the cameras stop recording. Aunt Petunia hands me the collar she tried to put on Chu.

  ‘Here, sweetie, take this one for free. Your little friend there might not want to wear it now, but you never know. Pets are usually much happier when they’re well behaved. I guess that’s why we’ve sold millions of them to the viewers at home.’

  ‘Uh, thanks,’ I say, taking the collar and putting it in my pocket. There’s no way I’d force Chu to wear it if he didn’t want to, but I don’t want to offend Aunt Petunia. ‘How do they work?’

  Aunt Petunia taps the side of her nose and winks. ‘It’s a secret! But they really do work. You should try it on your monkey if you want him to be better behaved.’

  ‘No way, old lady!’ says Chu. ‘Leigh likes me just the way I am, even if I do occasionally use her toothbrush as a backscratcher.’

  ‘What a sweet little monkey!’ says Aunt Petunia, not understanding a word of what Chu said.

  ‘Leigh!’ I turn to find that Ben Beaumont has joined the others at the side of the set. As I walk over I notice the worried look on Ben’s face.

  ‘I’ve just been in touch with GALACTIC,’ he says. ‘There’s a case they need the Star League on right away!’

  We shut ourselves in an unused room so nobody can overhear our secret Star League business.

  ‘GALACTIC has been getting a lot of missing person reports lately,’ says Ben. ‘Well, technically it’s not missing people, it’s missing animals! We’ve had reports of hundreds of pets mysteriously disappearing all over the city.’

  ‘So what?’ asks Roger. ‘Pets go missing all the time! What do they want us to do, use our powers to put up Missing posters?’

  ‘Let me finish,’ says Ben. ‘It’s not just pets that have gone missing. Animals from zoos have been stolen as well, animals that could be very dangerous such as bears and lions. We need the Star League to track them down and get them back.’

  ‘How are we supposed to find them?’ asks Jay. ‘Do we have any leads?’

  Ben shakes his head. ‘Unfortunately not. The investigators have found no trace of the missing animals, which is why GALACTIC wants the Star League on the case.’ He looks at me. ‘Leigh, we were hoping you might be able to ask around and see if any other animals have heard anything.’

  I nod. ‘Of course. We need to act right away. Whoever is taking these animals is obviously up to no good.’

  ‘The rest of us can scan the police reports for any new missing animals,’ says Jay. They head off back towards Beaumont Studios, but I stay behind.

  ‘Where are we going to try first?’ asks Chu.

  ‘I’ve got a hunch,’ I tell him. ‘If animals are going missing, Aunt Petunia might have heard something about it. After all, she spends so much time around animals that she might have some kind of lead.’

  Chu nods in agreement. ‘And even if she hasn’t heard anything we can still ask her to put out a warning on her TV show. She gets over three million viewers, right? So somebody must have seen something!’

  We head back to the set but there’s no sign of Aunt Petunia. As I look for someone to ask, I notice that everyone is clustered around a table to one side of the room.

  ‘What’s the commotion?’ asks Chu. As I walk over I see that everyone is watching a pair of gigantic rats who are pigging out on a catering table. They gnaw at a giant wedge of cheddar cheese, so intent on eating that they’re completely ignoring the crowd they’ve drawn.

  ‘That’s so gross!’ says one of the cameramen. ‘I was eating some of that cheese before. What do we do?’

  ‘Call
an exterminator?’ someone suggests.

  ‘No need,’ says a lady. She takes off one of her high heels and raises it above her head so its sharp point is aimed at the rats. ‘I’ll take care of them!’

  ‘No!’ I shout, throwing myself between the crowd of people and the rats. ‘Don’t hurt them, they’re, uh … they’re part of Aunt Petunia’s next show!’ Everyone stops and looks at me. Even the rats stop eating. ‘She’s, uh, teaching them ballet!’

  The rats stare up at me with their beady eyes.

  ‘What’s that girl talking about, Millicent?’ asks one.

  ‘I dunno, Gertrude. I think she’s bonkers!’ replies the other.

  ‘Just do what I say,’ I whisper. ‘Trust me!’

  Everyone watches as the rats rise up shakily on their back legs and start to totter around like ballet dancers. The crowd applauds.

  ‘Well, if they’re meant to be here then I guess that’s okay,’ says the woman with the shoe. Everyone wanders back to what they were doing, leaving Chu and me alone with the rats.

  ‘Thanks, girly,’ says the rat called Millicent. ‘You just saved our tails!’

  Gertrude nods. ‘That’s right. If you ever need a favour, you can count on us!’

  ‘Well, actually, I was wondering if you’ve seen Aunt Petunia?’

  ‘The old lady with the pink hair?’ asks Millicent. ‘Yeah, we saw her. She went this way. Come on!’

  The rats jump down from the table and lead me backstage. I follow them to a door with Aunt Petunia’s name on it, which must be her dressing room. I thank the rats and they scamper off.

  I raise my hand to knock, but a loud shout from behind the door makes me freeze.

  ‘Filthy animals! I hate them all!’