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  Star League Book 01: Lights, Camera, Action Hero!

  ePub ISBN 9781742744308

  A Random House book

  Published by Random House Australia Pty Ltd

  Level 3, 100 Pacific Highway, North Sydney NSW 2060

  www.randomhouse.com.au

  First published by Random House Australia in 2011

  Copyright © H.J. Harper 2011

  Illustration copyright © Nahum Ziersch 2011

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity, including internet search engines or retailers, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying (except under the statutory exceptions provisions of the Australian Copyright Act 1968), recording, scanning or by any information storage and retrieval system without the prior written permission of Random House Australia.

  Addresses for companies within the Random House Group can be found at www.randomhouse.com.au/offices.

  National Library of Australia

  Cataloguing-in-Publication Entry

  Author: Harper, H. J.

  Title: Lights, camera, action hero! / H.J. Harper; Nahum Ziersch

  ISBN: 978 1 86471 866 9 (pbk)

  Series: Harper, H. J. Star league; 1

  Target Audience: For children

  Other Authors/Contributors: Ziersch, Nahum

  Dewey Number: A823.4

  Cover illustration and design by Nahum Ziersch

  CONTENTS

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Imprint Page

  Dedication

  Meet The Star League

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Collect them all

  About the author

  About the illustrator

  To Mum. – H.J.H.

  I watch from the shadows as two burglars dressed in black load the door of a bank vault with dynamite. They take a step back and push a button on a remote control. BOOM! The door explodes and sags open on its hinges.

  ‘This sure is an easy job,’ says one of the burglars as he dumps money into a sack.

  ‘Yeah, there’s nobody around to stop us!’

  That’s my cue. I swing down on a rope from a vent in the ceiling and land between them.

  ‘What the …?’ says one. The burglar doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Instead I kick his legs out from underneath him. ‘Oof!’ he grunts, landing on his back. The sack of money flies up into the air and I catch it with one hand. The other burglar stares at me with fear in his eyes.

  ‘Hi, thought I’d just drop by! I’m not interrupting anything, am I?’ I say with a grin. The burglar screams and runs away. ‘Hey, where are you going? I just got here!’ I start to chase after him.

  He jumps into a getaway car, the tyres squealing as he hurries to get out of here. I’m not worried. I take my time as I climb onto the shiny black motorbike that’s waiting for me.

  Instead of racing after him, I grab a can of soft drink out of my backpack. It has ‘Fizz Force’ written down the side in big orange letters. I drink it down quickly, then wipe my face and grin.

  ‘Ready or not, here I come!’

  ‘Cut!’ yells a voice. I’m blinded a bit as the overhead lights flicker on. ‘That was great, Jay, just great! I think we’re done filming for the day.’

  The director of the Fizz Force commercial I’m filming walks over and shakes my hand. ‘I hope those actors playing the burglars are okay,’ I say. ‘I think I might’ve winded one of them.’

  ‘They’ll be fine, Jay. I’m more worried about filming your motorbike chase scene tomorrow. Are you sure you’re up to it? I can always get a stunt guy to do it for you.’

  ‘No way!’ I say. ‘I always do my own stunts. That’s the best part about being a movie star!’

  ‘If Jay Casey wants to do his own stunts, then Jay Casey gets to do them!’ says the director.

  We turn as an assistant runs up to me, out of breath. ‘Excuse me, Mr Casey!’

  ‘I’m only twelve,’ I say. ‘Mr Casey is what people call my uncle. Just call me Jay.’

  ‘Sorry Mr, er, Jay. I’ve got an urgent message from Jefferson Casey. He wants you to meet him in your trailer as soon as possible.’

  Jefferson’s my uncle, but he’s also my agent, my best friend and the only family I’ve got left. When I was a baby my parents went hiking in the mountains and were never seen again.

  Jefferson took me in and looked after me. It’s because of him that I’m a big star. He thought I had acting talent and landed me my very first audition in a Bouncing Baby nappy commercial and it’s been non-stop superstardom ever since.

  ‘Is everything okay?’ Before I can help it, thoughts of Jefferson sick and in hospital flash through my mind. It’s like the wind has been knocked out of me.

  Because Jefferson’s not just my best friend, he’s my only friend. I love being a movie star, but it can get pretty lonely when you work such long hours and you don’t go to school with other kids. And there aren’t exactly a lot of kids my age making movies.

  ‘What did he say to you? Did he tell you anything else?’ I ask the assistant, trying not to sound like I’m freaking out.

  ‘He didn’t say. He just wanted you to get over there right away. It sounded pretty serious.’

  Uh-oh! This doesn’t sound good.

  I burst into my trailer. ‘Jefferson! Jefferson? Is everything okay?’ There’s no answer and I start to get a really bad feeling in my gut. I’m about to go look for him, when the sound of somebody clearing their throat almost makes me jump out of my skin.

  I spin around and spot a pale man in a lab coat sitting in a chair by the door. I don’t know what he’s doing there but I don’t like the look of him one bit.

  ‘Jay Casey, I presume?’ he asks in a wheezy, high-pitched voice.

  ‘What’s it to you?’ I ask, wondering if this guy is dangerous. ‘What are you doing in my trailer?’

  The guy laughs an evil-sounding cackle that turns into a cough. ‘My name is Professor Pestilence and I’ve come to offer you a job.’

  I decide it’s probably a good idea to keep him talking so I can figure out a way to get past him if things turn ugly. ‘What kind of job?’

  He rubs his hands together, and I can see that his nails are long and yellow like claws. ‘I am head of PestilenceCorp, a new and exciting company in the field of robotics.’

  PestilenceCorp. Why does that name sound so familiar? ‘Isn’t PestilenceCorp the company that’s been in the news lately for creating illegal human robots called Humabots?’ I ask.

  Professor Pestilence’s beady eyes dart nervously around the trailer. ‘Well, yes, but …’

&nb
sp; ‘I remember seeing something on TV about how you won’t tell anyone what your plans are for the Humabots. Some people are saying you’re up to no good and should be arrested.’

  ‘People just don’t understand my brilliance!’ shrieks the Professor. ‘If only they understood that what I’m doing is for the good of humanity! A world run by my amazing mind would be a world of order instead of chaos. Nobody would ever have to think for themselves again!’

  ‘Uh, that doesn’t really sound like a good thing …’ I say, but he doesn’t seem to be listening. Instead he’s staring at me with a crazy gleam in his eyes.

  ‘Nobody believes that my plan is pure genius, but that’s just because I’ve been given a bad name in the newspapers. Lousy police investigations …’ he mutters to himself.

  ‘But that’s why I’m here,’ he continues. ‘My research has shown that you’re one of the most famous movie stars in the world. I want you to go on TV and tell everyone that PestilenceCorp isn’t dangerous, and that we should be allowed to make our Humabots! The morons, er, I mean audiences watching will believe what you tell them because they trust you.’

  ‘So why would I want to lie to them?’ I ask. This guy must be crazy. ‘I don’t want to do your interview, Professor Pestilence. I think you should leave.’

  ‘I’LL MAKE YOU DO THAT INTERVIEW!’ he yells, jumping up out of his seat. At that moment the door to the trailer bursts open and Jefferson appears in the doorway.

  ‘Jay, I’m glad you’re here, I’ve got important news …’ He frowns when he sees Professor Pestilence. ‘What’s this guy doing in here? Security!’

  The professor hurtles past Jefferson and disappears into the studio lot.

  ‘What was that all about?’ asks Jefferson, his face creased with worry. ‘Should we go after him?’

  ‘Ah, don’t worry about it. Just another one of my adoring fans.’ I don’t want to worry Jefferson any more than I have to. ‘Anyway, what’s this big news you were talking about?’

  Jefferson grins. ‘Maybe you should be sitting down for this.’

  My heart skips a beat. ‘What? Don’t keep me in suspense!’

  ‘Okay, here it is: I’ve just got you an audition with Ben Beaumont!’

  Ben Beaumont? It takes a second for the news to sink in, and then I’m cheering and laughing like crazy. I collapse on the sofa and take a deep breath. I’m so relieved that it’s good news instead of bad.

  ‘So, you’ve heard of Ben Beaumont?’ asks Jefferson with a grin.

  ‘Heard of him? He’s only my favourite director in the whole world! He’s directed all the best movies: Goresplatter, Jungle Doom I, II and IV, and my favourite, Snake City! You know it’s always been my dream to be in one of his movies because they’ve got the coolest stunts ever! When’s the audition?’

  Jefferson checks his watch. ‘In half an hour. It’s kind of short notice, but he wanted you to audition for a part in his new project as soon as possible.’

  ‘Half an hour?’ I yell. ‘What are we waiting for? Let’s move it!’ I grab Jefferson’s hand and start to drag him out of the trailer but he stops me.

  ‘Sorry, buddy, I can’t go with you today. I’ve got a meeting to go over some of the details of your contract with Fizz Force. Boring stuff really, but it has to be done.’

  ‘You’re not coming?’ I’m surprised by how upset I am. This audition is one of the most exciting things that has ever happened to me and I can’t believe Jefferson’s not going to be there.

  ‘You’ll be fine, Jay. You’ve done this a million times.’ I nod because I know he’s right. Sometimes I forget that Jefferson’s not just my uncle, he’s also my agent, and that means spending a lot of time in meetings instead of us hanging out together.

  ‘Well, that’s okay, Jefferson. At least we can grab a bite to eat afterwards and I can tell you about it,’ I say, trying to cheer up.

  ‘Oh, um … I don’t know if I can make that either, Jay,’ says Jefferson as he searches through his organiser. ‘I’ve got to head on over to the office to update your website. Can’t keep your fans in the dark about this new audition!’

  ‘Okay,’ I say, starting to get frustrated. ‘What about tomorrow then? I was hoping we could go check out the new sharks at the aquarium?’

  ‘No can do, Jay. I’ve got a conference to go to on how to be the best agent you can be. It’s supposed to be very good, but it means I’ll be gone all week.’

  ‘All week?’ Something inside me snaps and I see red. ‘I can’t believe you’re ditching me!’ I shout.

  ‘I’m not ditching you, Jay,’ says Jefferson. ‘I’m doing my job.’

  ‘Great! I’m just a job? I thought I was your nephew!’

  ‘Well, you’re both. Being the agent to the most famous movie star in the world is a really busy job. As soon as I get back, I promise …’ Jefferson’s phone starts to ring. He looks at me and shrugs his shoulders. ‘Sorry, Jay, I’ve got to take this call.’

  ‘Fine, whatever. I’m out of here,’ I mumble. I storm out of the trailer towards the parking lot where the studio’s private cars wait. ‘Take me to Beaumont Studios,’ I tell the driver of one of the cars.

  On the way I take some time to cool down. I think about how I spoke to Jefferson and I start to feel pretty bad. It’s not his fault that being an agent means he’s always busy, and I know he’s doing it all for me.

  I try to call him to tell him I’m sorry but his phone is off. He must already be in another meeting. ‘I can always apologise later,’ I tell myself. I try to focus on the audition instead.

  When the car finally pulls up to Beaumont Studios, a tall lady in a green suit is standing outside waiting for me. She sticks out her hand and I shake it.

  ‘So you’re the famous Jay Casey! It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,’ she says. ‘I’m Chantelle Stirling, the producer of Ben Beaumont’s next project. I hope you don’t mind me saying I’m a huge fan of yours! I know Ben is too, and he’s excited to meet you. This way, please.’

  As I follow her into the studio I can barely contain my excitement. Ben Beaumont is a fan of mine? Could this day get any better? Chantelle stops in front of a door.

  ‘This is the waiting room for the auditions. Just take a seat and we’ll call you in when we’re ready.’ When Chantelle walks away I take a deep breath and turn the handle.

  I don’t really know what I was expecting to see in the waiting room, but it certainly wasn’t this!

  Five other kids sit in chairs around the edge of the waiting room. When Jefferson told me about the audition, I was expecting to be the only one going for the part today. But by the looks of it, I’ve got some tough competition!

  They all stare at me as I walk into the room. Being a famous movie star means you get used to being stared at, but these kids are starting to make me feel nervous because they look pretty strange.

  There are three boys and two girls. They all look like they’re around the same age as me, but that’s about all we have in common.

  To my right is a boy whose tangled brown hair flops down over his face. His clothes are scruffy and torn in places, and his long nails are so dirty they’re almost black. He grins at me and his teeth are as white as pearls. For a second I think I see pointy fangs. I shake my head and tell myself I must be imagining things.

  Next to him is a girl dressed from head to toe in a black ninja uniform. Only her eyes show, and those are black too. I can see a couple of ninja throwing stars sticking out of her belt that I know from my on-set weapons training are called shuriken. She also has a long wooden staff called a bo peeking out from her back. I figure she must be filming some sort of martial arts movie.

  In a seat across from her is a boy who looks so sick his skin is green. It must be make-up because anyone that sick would be … well, a zombie! He reaches into a satchel at his side and pulls out a few vials of coloured liquid, then finally finds what he’s looking for: a piece of gum. As he pops it into his mouth I see that the packet says ‘B
raynes’. Huh, never heard of that brand before.

  Next to him is a girl who turns away shyly when I look at her. Her pale face is covered in freckles, and her long red hair is pulled back into a ponytail. She looks pretty normal compared to the others. Then something starts to move under her jacket. A small, furry black and white head pops out and stares at me. It’s a monkey! It climbs out of its hiding spot and winds itself around the girl’s neck.

  I scope out the last kid in the room. I guess if I wasn’t looking closely I’d think he was pretty normal, but as he stares back at me I notice he’s a little bit too still. His white-blonde hair is perfectly parted, not a single strand out of place. Same with his clothes – they’re so neat it’s like he hasn’t even moved in them. His blue eyes seem to be staring at me as though he’s got X-ray vision. It’s funny, but the more I watch him the more I could swear he’s not even breathing.

  I take a seat by myself in one corner of the room. I wish Jefferson was here for me to talk to, because I’m starting to feel really nervous about the audition. I’ve never seen these kids in any movies, but they look like they’ve just walked off a set somewhere so they must be professionals.

  An awkward silence fills the room. I start to feel like I should say something, but nothing comes to me. It’s so much easier in movies when you’ve got a script in front of you telling you what your next line is.

  It sounds weird, but whenever I’m around kids my own age I get really nervous. I freeze up and my mind goes blank. I know a lot of people get stage fright. Chuck me in front of a camera and I’m fine. I’ve been doing it since before I could walk. But put me in a room full of kids and I start to feel like I’m staring over the edge of a huge cliff without a safety harness.